cracked up

ever felt like todays things was going on smoothly for you and the next day was all ups and down? chaos, got deluded between friends and enemy. sucks to know that someone are talking behind your back, someone you know. the fact you don't really know who to trust make you really scared and its like you are alone even though you are in the middle of the crowd. some of good memories you have been trough together starting to fade away and make you feel so damn stupid. the world is turning its back on you, makes you feel vulnerable, trashed, and to mixed things up with a 'good taste' of the 'life flavour', you had so much to do and to think about while 'things' around you keep going worse plus you keep on thinking even though its not worth it at all.

I've BUZZ my friend yesterday looking for S.O.S and we've been talking about how this final semester would be for both of us and what we're looking forward to. surprisingly, she said " I'm so excited to know that this is my last semester. should get rid off my ass sooner. like to be some place else where i can start it all over again." i said to her, "good idea!! me too. a sweet escape might help i guess, concerning the unfortunate event that I've been trough lately. but on top of that, there's so many good memories lying over here makes me wonder how I'm gonna leave them behind and sooner or later i have to. just had a few month to go, hope to avoid any trouble in paradise and enjoy the moment with everyone i care about because I'm not good at saying good bye. not at all.

that bitchy inbalance rounding error

I was wondering alone in my faculty waiting for a friend when I suddenly got slapped by my supervisor that I've been running away from in this past few weeks. why? because i was doing my work far beyond the time line that she gave me. plus, she was about to labor her first baby next month i guess. so she want me to finish it in time before she crack!!

...

lucky for me I've just finished it yesterday so i just hand it over to her. hooray!! but not very lucky for me obviously, for the likes of her, i mean, an expertise in her field, it's not difficult for her to detected the problem that I've been trying to solve in a month!!! sigh ~ and never been solved actually. and then she goes like this ' you have to this and this and this, calculate the output using this and this and this, interpret like this and this and this...."

...

meanings, i have to work it all over again and email it to her by tomorrow. but I'm glad that my findings are all significant and valid according to what she says except, i just has to take care that formulated bitchy of in balanced rounding error in my outcome!!!

Regret? I Had a Few..

Today I've roared my anger to someone I'm not suppose to be yelling at. The fact that he/she is older than me is what I regret the most.

Sigh~

Now, I'm not very comfortable with the likes of me being so annoyingly stupid ass and i hope i can forward my apologize to him/her. Hope pretty much that he/she noted my lack of respect on his/her sandy heart and allow the wind of forgiveness blow it all the way.
...
None of this never happens before but maybe I've lost control of my left brain in a split second and in that split second,
I've forgot..
who am i...
what am i..
...
where i left them?
the normal me*..
the calm headed me*..
..
common sense..
my smart ass..

...
^ damn me!!

reflect your feelings

some says musics is "the best way to exspress your feelings " and it come with thousands of different interpretation and prespectives. either way i say "lets reflect it now"!!

1. under preassure - queen feat david bowie
2. are u lonesome tonight? - elvis persley
3. lean on me - micheal bolton
4. wasted time - skidrow
5. true colours - phil collins
6. heavens a lie - lacuna coil
7. quit playing games with my heart - BSB
8. is this it? - the strokes
9. without you - silverchair
10. suara kekasih - alleycats

can u guys help me with this?

geeky, freaky, nerdy me

# rock n roll machine - the donnas

hari ni adlh hari plg x sosial bg aku..
rse kaku..
rse keras..
rse tepu..

knape hah?

bangun tido, mandi, tros g library,
lunch kt foyer library (naja yg bungkuskn),
g jwab test pkl 4, kuar plg awal,
spnjg 10jam neh br borak dgn naja n bijan,
blk test msk library balik,
dok sorg2 kt meja, mata terbeliak wat keja.

tgk jam da pkl 7 p.m,
bru sedar yg aku neh homosapiens,
bru sedar yg otak aku ade kapasiti tertentu,
bru sedar bontot aku da jemu,

p.s //; bru sedar aku br sedut sebatang rokok jek ari ni...

kne tag semalam!!

apsl aku rse cam kne sepak jek ble kena tag neh?
kne layan ke?
oit dila!! kne layan ke?

haih..

smlm mmg aku xde mood nk melayan..
ari ni boley kot..
thesis aku pon dah hampir siap slps seharian bertarung nyawa dgn aircond library neh...

jap, nk check wallet yang hampir tembus jenama armani. xto brp harga die kakak aku yg kasi!

godex godex godex

1. duit singget ade 7 keping, duit syiling mls nk kire! lepas la mkn mlm neh..
2. ade resit kfc yg mmg tabiat aku bila dpt change trus sumbat dlm wallet and lepas sebulan bru tringt nk buang.
3. 1 tiket ke sambutan tahun baru cina 2 bulan lepas kot!! x igt bpe hengget sbb adeq aku yg blanje..
4. 2 tiket movie yg da luntur die nye tulisan so aku x igt utk film ape...
5. kupon jamming!! tggl lg sejam ktorg dpt men free lg sejam..
6. resit byr saman!! xnk citer pnjg!
7. kad matrik mase skola dulu.. muke gile batak!! malu aku nk tunjuk!!!
8. ic yang dah nyawe2 ikan..seinchi lg nk patah dua...
9. atm card, maybank dgn bcb. FYI bcb utk PTPTN maybank utk PAMA(papa & mama & pakcik & makcik)
10. godex lg, terjumpe lak waran tangkap 3 thn lepas! pon mls nk citer pnjg!!
    

ha puas ati ko dila?

w/pun sampah jek kt dlm wallet neh, tp x selesa kalo Armani neh xde kt bontot aku!!
rase bontot jd ringan..

thanxs yeh armani sebab gendong benda yg aku mls nk gendong!!

bila pasir dan embun berbicara

dikala aku berbisik kepada bulan,
semasa kujeritkan lagu kepada bintang,
menyatakan..
betapa girangnya berbaring di riba sang pantai,
berteka teki bersama awan,

pasir lantas bertanya,
kenapa?

kenapa tak ikut resam pantai?
biar ditampar gulungan sang ombak,
sangat sabar dan tabah,
tetap bisa menanti kepulangan sang bayu.

embun dengus mencongak,
mengapa?

mengapa pejamkan mata melihat teladan langit?
berkongsi kecantikan maya bersama sang bintang,
membiarkan sang awan bergelimpangan di lamannya,
menyokong sang bulan memukau si bumi.

ni da lari tajuk la haidar

Few weeks ago aku kne wt assignment psl political issues regarding die punye consumption and production during the champagne and submit it today.

Tp bila lecturer aku check, “ kenapa semua pasal conflict dalaman jek? Awk nk jd penganalisis politik ke? Ni da lari tajuk ni.”

Padahnye menulis berpaksikan emosi…
Hahaha..

The point is,
Kenapa kite x boley bersatu? Xpyh ckp psl parti politik la, event in our society it self pun boley nmpk kn…
Campus environment,
Workplace,
Kawan2..

Smlm aku join satu event utk anugerah pengiklanan for my faculty. So setiap group is assigned utk wt iklan bg produk kt sekitar T’ganu neh. Ade sorg mamat India klas aku neh, bila setiap iklan yg group India wt die mesti ade dan aku prasan, bdk2 India lain pon same. Diorg saling tolong menolong. As a reward 2 of their group menang iklan multimedia terbaik..

Knp diorg boley united sampai cmtu skali?
Bdk melayu?

Ajk tertinggi perlaksana pon boley pecah belah. Aku kutuk ko, ko kutuk aku. Iklan si polan neh kuar kne boo. Iklan si polan ni lak kuar kne maki. Smpai bile? Ade yg blk msm muke sebb saket hati. perlu ke?

ade org ckp, "ala x sporting r ko"

Knp mcm ni?
Kte kn khalifah?
Behave like one la kn...

Then aku kne la alter blk assignment aku tuh dan hantar by tomorrow morning. Aduuss..

thought bright day would came along

today i woke up early...
5am...
felt fresh...
thought a bright day would come along

opened my pc...
proceed my work that i left last night...
almost done...
really thought that bright day would came along

quiet dawn...
hungry...
went out for breakfast...
~lalala bright day bright day bright day

phone ring: when the sun goes down -Arctic monkeys
one new message from nadia, "haidar, siap skang!! aku amek...
grabbed my towel...
yeah sure, bright day ahead!!

showering...
felt dizzy, choked up...
vomited...
saw 'bright day' took a step backward

got phone call: kanashimiwoya -OST naruto
on screen: nadia...
"we are late!! hurry up"...
"don't worry, i got bright day with me"

Dr nuraien isn't arrived yet...
Paul stands on his feet...
"actually class is cancel, but i have an announcement to make"...
damn it Paul! you makes my bright day stepped further

get busy again...
something wrong with my software, inconsistency with my data...
Dr azura is not answering my call...
Mr bright day: "get real, I'm doing my best"

12pm, steps end up in library...
have to start again, due date is today...
better hurry, I'll be in big trouble if i don't...
but still hoping that bright day will come along

annas sgt celake!

haih..
cam biase pas balik mkn aku singgah cc jap usha pe yg menarik..
bkk myspace...

friends update: annas upload new album, sunburst yg best!

aku terkedu...
klik...
gamba die dgn mike...
close up pic brandon...
die g dgn Dj DICKey Dink Donk...

mana krie?
mana merq?
mana zizie?
mana apit?

bukan aku dengki...
bukan iri hati...
tp...

iri hati mengatasi taraf keirihatian org melayu

close up neh paling aku dengki skali..

aku tarik nafas...
smpai ati x bwk aku huuu..

thanxs annas for nothing!
haha tiada rasa amarah kpd mu walau setitik..

two thousand and eigth~

happy new year!! yes, its in the middle of march now and i'm far behind the ball.

by the way, is it really 2008? wow, thats sound like the future to me. should'nt we be driving around on hovercraft or a space car and running around in an astronauts suit like The Jetson's Family in the cartoon? well, i suppose we do have robotic dogs, automatic vacuum cleaners, electric cars and botox, so i guest we're not too far off right?

i suppose december 31st was the night to be flecting on 2007 and perhaps now i might have to look ahead. however, i forgot to reflect in new years coz i was to busy laughing and chilling. so i guest i better reflect it now and prepair my wish list in a few days. i'm in no rush! definitely!

erm, 2008 is going to be a year of peace, happiness and fun and i'm totally gonna miss my campus life for sure!! i'll be graduated this year an hope to do so with flying colours!! yeah.. damn me, damn me!! thats all i need to know right now is'nt it? since a picture worth a thousand words, here are some of my wondrous 2007;

me and my gule kapas. acctually, mlm tuh sume org jd camera addict!!

the wave!! after performing 'one love'

this is my sister Teng!! is'nt she cute? we're in front of PISA square garden for Gegar U battle of the band.

2 org pondan~ yg paling aku sayang!!

i love his picta!! its totally cool. wani and dila sebok je bile org tgh gantung banner..

this is what i mean by camera addicted!! got it? and this is where it all begins..

spectrum U recording at FINAS. from left, nat, hassan, solo and me behind the big ugly drums. sigh~

yeah, amy is sunbathing besides Sekayu waterfall. this is the first time we having a trip together with my classmate. a motivation camp though!!

rombongan cik kiah!! everybody was so happy back then, thanxs for the memories.

hahaha plz don't try this at home.

outside stadium negara, tgh sabar menunggu tiket!! muse live in KL!! best, sbb x byk indon.

merq with his little lady faeza kt dpn time square! halau aku soh blk tganu..huhu

me dgn annas kt steven's. rindu banget sama loo. salah rotate gamba but then mls da nk tukar..

matthew and is piano. totally super duper entertaining and i still cannot believe my eyes. hahaha